Originally uploaded by guffman32.
Well, folks the Jason – Emily union is right around the proverbial corner so I figured we would kick off the festivities by discussing what hijinx will ensue next week. Here’s my top 10 list of the most shocking predictions for Big Sky. I open the forum for your comments and predictions.
10. In an emergency INXS calls Osvog on Friday to stand in as the lead singer for their Indian reservation whirlwind tour of 2007. Although flattered, he declines thinking of the strain life on the road will put on a new marriage.
9. Dunning actually looks like all his organs are functioning normally.
8. Tooth finally admits that he is Luke and Leiah’s father/Kronan decides to just order a “well” drink
7. Chuch actually does not bitch about something for an entire 23 minutes. (Of couse this will be when he is busy fighting for his life rafting)
6. Jeff aka the scab replacment groomsmen falls off raft and is rescued by a park ranger who claims to have rescued George Bush Jr.. He mentions he thought the President would be in better shape.
5. Kent’s plan of driving from Salt Lake actually turns out to make sense and he fails to break a chair or appliance during his entire stay at the lodge.
4. Mitch refuses to have lunch with one of Emily’s gorgeous early 20’s cousins instead insisting to go on an all dude hike/drum banging session in the mountains.
3. Bluto not “ryan” makes a guest appearance.
2. Fenimore uses only 2 hair product in his hair instead of the usual 3 not including the leave in conditioner. He also decides to just “clean up the kitchen later.”
1. Wendy decides to “sit this song out”.
Admittedly, the tone of this blog is often sarcastic or snarky in nature. Well, then again look who’s writing it! I first developed this tone or stance early in life as a self-defense mechanism. Hopefully one day, a brave therapist will eventually navigate deep into my psyche and the healing will begin. It would be fair to say I adhere to the theory that comedy is just life plus time. However, even somebody as cynical as myself can see the brighter side of life and realize that although a multitude of things in this world deserve consistent ridicule and deconstruction, there are also many things in life are great…dare I say fantastic even! I tend to try to depress myself on occasion because then I get paranoid about the future which then motivates me to work harder and learn more. Sick….yes, however it will have to work as a band aid until I can afford that analyst/therapist or as Tobias Funke would state “an analrapist.” The other day I almost allowed myself to slip into one of my patented pathetic, self pity moods when I realized that life is good… damn good in fact! What were my beacons of inspiration? I know it sounds sappy but I thought of my friends. Mostly about what badasses they all are and about all of the great things happening in their lives and how we will all get to share and laugh about it together. The first example of this is the fact that in little over a week Jason Osvog and Emily Kuhnmuench will be married in Big Sky, Montana. I will cease to state anything more on this tremendous couple as I have to save the good stuff for the best man speech.
The other occurrence that bolstered my belief in humanity was that “the tooth’ aka “the Polack bear” aka BDM aka Chris Ybstremski aka Chris Ballinger got engaged to his Polish muse, Kathryn, a fellow medical student. I admire the Tooth (I will always call him the tooth, even if he performs brain surgery in future years) because he has one of the best hearts I know, can kick amazingly high in the air, is beginning to resemble Telly Savalas from “Kojak” and also because he followed his dream and passion. When the Tooth told me the arduous path he had to undertake to become a doctor, I was the first to scoff and tell him he was being foolhardy. I told him to take the easy way out and get a cushy job in the pharmaceutical industry where he would be making a good salary in a few years and be on a more stable career path. The Tooth was steadfast in his desire to become a physician however, and even moved back home to his parents house in Houston to take courses that would improve his chance of getting into medical school. I truly do admire this because many times in the past I think I have been guilty of taking the “easy” way out because of my own fear of failure. Well, of course the tooth did not fail as he is now in his second year of medical school and met his fiancee as a result of his relentless dedication. So here’s to the Tooth for proving me wrong and never giving up on his dream. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer big dumb mammal. I still won’t let him within 100 miles of treating a family member due to the fact he has the personal hygeine of a vagrant during Jazz fest but the Polack Bear has done good, very good indeed. (I just reread this and I think that I may be going through menopause). Oh, well I can always look to Bea Arthur for inspiration.