Category Archives: Web2.0

“You Give Blog A Bad Name…”

For some reason modern society has a fascination with pedophilia or at least the people who are afflicted with the disease. It’s easily the most offensive and inexcusable of crimes, unless you can moonwalk and take Webster as your date to the Grammy’s. The fact that this did not receive greater outrage at the time is ridiculous. I mean imagine if Justin Timberlake brought….hmm…I’m getting so old I don’t even know midget child stars anymore, but you get the point. Thanks to NBC Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator” however, we are all much better educated about the topic. For instance, whenever the shows comes up in casual conversation, it is inevitably followed by cries of gleeful disgust with the ubiquitous statement, “I love that show”, immediately followed by a bad impression of the show’s uber wasp host. Misanthropy Today had a funny post about this trend. I guess the segment’s success can be attributed to sort of a car wreck type phenomenon where viewers can revel in the deserved, utter humiliation of depressingly sad, pathetic individuals as they hit rock bottom.

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It was only a matter of time until this subject entered the blogosphere as Jack McClellan was arrested for lurking outside a UCLA day care center yesterday. The perv had received occasional press over the last few years this for his blog that openly displayed his lust for extremely young girls including pictures he took at playgrounds and other public venues. Due to the fact that he had never been caught acting on his intentions he had never been previously arrested. It’s a standard cliche that when child molesters and mass murderers are caught someone remarks that they did not appear to look the type. McClellan is the exception to the rule as he truly looks the part. One can easily imagine him spending countless hours in his parent’s basement researching sex tours in Thailand while listening to Slipknow and slurping down Big Gulps. Although, I must admit he is not as creepy as the dude with the khakis pulled up to his armpits who falsely claimed to kill Jon Benet Ramsey. That guy might possibly be the scariest thing in hagar slacks since Mr. Kozart, my algebra teacher in 9th grade. They should add the guy from “Silence of the Lambs” who put the lotion in the basket and get the band back together.

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This latest incident will undoubtedly lead to the traditional media blowing up the topic and a number of talking heads on Fox and CNN talking about the implicit danger of blogs and social networks. The irony is of course, is that if this ass clown had not posted maintained his blog as way to most likely purge his guilt; law enforcement would never have been privy to his nauseating yearnings and illicit desires. I guess I’m guilty of buying into the impending hype as well by posting a blog about it but something tells me that Bill O’Reilly’s and Nancy Grace’s respective staffs are allready whipping up a piece that will strike as much fear as a Karl Rove spin tactic. After all, the media is at somewhat of loss at the moment as Nicole Richie appears to be ingesting food and Lindsey Lohan will probably not have access to an 8 ball within the next 14 calendar days. Vegas currently has 2 to 1 odds that within 2 months one of the seven Law & Order series or 8 CSIs has a plot-line about an overweight, pasty blogger who uses web 2.0 technology to lure his unsuspecting prey. Come to think of it maybe David Caruso could play the perp as well based on this pic. Here’s hoping that McClellan ends up in the slammer and gets jumped by some Piru Bloods.

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Twitter goes back to the future…or past rather

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Outside of Facebook, Twitter is probably the most hyped company in the Web 2.0 arena. It has garnered praise from all the bloggers and geeks of significance. If Twitter was a band it would be The Strokes circa 2003. Twitter is the “it” girl of the Bay Area. Personally, I am still sort of wishy washy on the concept however, I know that the service will be integrated in a variety of ways that someone of my middling intelligence is not possible of comprehending at this time. Nonethesless, no matter which way twitter is eventually leveraged to facilitate some new technique of marketing and advertising; one thing is brazenly clear at this point. Most of the twitter comments are benign, earnest and overtly PC such as “Just got done with bikram…feel Great!”, “Had great meeting with XYZ from ABC company at XXX conference” or “Mmmhh…love Swensen’s bittersweet chocolate milkshakes”. BORING. If it is supposed to represent a newfangled stream of consciousness it would be much more entertaining and compelling if a Lenny Bruce/Sasha Cohen character was to unleash all of their biases, impulsive judgements. At least get some people of ill repute to become early adopters of the service.

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So let’s just put on our imaginary hats and imagine that Doc Brown suddenly landed in his De lorian and whisked us away to several points of time in the past and we magically gave individuals the ability and wifi access to “Twitter” for 24 hours. I know it does not make any sense McFly but just go with it…

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Gold Rush Twitter – from the perspective of a Grizzled prospector

  • Went panning this morning
  • Damn socks are wet…
  • Got a new pickaxe and shovel…traded with a Chinaman
  • Visited brothel….cheap whiskey and easy women….my kind of establishment
  • Beard almost a foot in length…
  • Suspenders getting a little loose
  • Back at brothel again, they have one of those newfangled pianos that plays itself
  • Got me a new six shooter….that Injun’s been eyeing my mule
  • Panning again..if I find me some gold, going to buy a nice house on the prarie and make an honest women of Doreen.

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Medieval Times Twitter – from the perspective of a common serf

  • Just watched third beheading this week in the town square, I heard the executioner is having an affair with the blacksmith’s daughter
  • The stench is really beginning to get to me in the village, which reminds me I have to throw the bucket of my feces out tonight
  • Heard the plague is spreading…maybe my insufferable wife will catch it
  • Supposedly there’s some charlatan named Merlin who can levitate and dates only the finest ladies in court. Has some shtick called “Street Magic”
  • Those knight are so overrated…slaying dragon’s my arse, they’re overpaid egomaniacs with prettier hair than most maidens
  • Sherrif’s coming by to pay taxes, which somebody would rob him like he does me….
  • Thinking of opening a Medieval Times themed restaurant….you know…struggling actors, bad wigs and miller lite.

July 27th Twitter – from the perspective of Mark Chu Cheong

  • Moron…don’t post that Twitter piece…not funny in the slightest..worse idea than Evan Almighty and the new Robin Williams as a priest debacle