Category Archives: events

Helm and Sawako are excited about the fine china in the background

Originally uploaded by guffman32.
Well, maybe they’re excited about their impending nuptials. Helm, perhaps the finest Jewish swingman in the history of CU basketball recently got engaged to Sawako whom he met at that fine academic institution we refer to as Boulder. Cheers to the happy couple and to the hope that Helm, Rico, and Renato all grow back their ponytails….

Sam Olympics Diary

* We will be updating throughout the day. Remember to watch the live video of activities starting at 3:00 pm PST.

9:40 am Sam and I make a trip to the grocery store. I decide to purchase some imitation Oakley Blades. I debate whether $16 is too high a price to pay for an ironic pair of sunglasses, that will probably be only worn for the day. The clincher is the fact that they say “Daytona” on the side. BAM! Now I only need some aqua socks to complete my look. Sam and I debate what quality of toilet paper we should purchase for the party. Due to the vasts amounts of quantity that will be used, I vote for the “low cost leader route” as the generic brand is discounted about 40%. Sam insists on the name brand stuff with some sort of Care Bear type mascot. He loathes the feel of “cheap” sanitary products. Good for his guests that he is this benevolent, but ultimately bad for the bottom line. (pun sort of intended)

10:20 am We are trying to decide how the rotation of the Olympics should take place. With a undetermined amount of teams/participants competing, this process is more complicated than it sounds. Additionally, we have to factor in the general inebriation factor of the players. We have finally decided on the games. (Baggo, Flip Cub, Beirut, Croquet, trivia and karaoke). We must also utilize some sort of weighted average as we want the finale karaoke competition to have a tremendous bearing on the final result. At some point I want to make the announcement , “Today, as you all female Duel” like a braindead real worlds-road rules host.

10:40 Private Benjamin starring Goldie Hawn is playing in the background. Sam mentions that she crafted a substantial career in the 80’s through playing “fish out of water” roles, aided only by her compelling combination of spunk and a PG-13 sex appeal. (see Wildcats, Overboard, Bird on a Wire, House Sitter) I was about to say Troop Beverly Hills but I think that showcased the limited talents of Shelley Long. Shelley Long sucks.

10:55 am I just realized I accidentally poured some “Blueberry Cobbler” coffee mate in my java! I am incredulous! What genius at Nestle greenlighted this product innovation? And we wonder why Europeans think Americans have no taste. It taste like somebody smeared jam in my coffee and the poured sour goats milk in for extra affect.

Live Video from Olympics

For those of you that cannot make it to San Diego this year for the Olympics and Sam’s 30th, we will be streaming live video of the festivities. Go to the below link and be envious of how much fun we are having. Unfortunately the player cannot be embedded with so you’re going to have to be redirected below. My vote is for Chris Fenimore to be on camera the entire time.

We’ll even have some J.Crew extras in attendance fresh in from their recent “Summering at Cape Cod” shoot (pictured below). Aren’t WASPS insufferable? I can just picture their future wasp offspring in seersucker right now; 2 boys, 1 girl and the cliched, requisite, immigrant nanny, who Fenimore will probably attempt to write off as a business expense for his S-Corp.

The Duke and Duchess of Fenimore

I ain’t seen drummin’ like this befo’……

We are having the “World Games Olympics” at Sam’s place in SD this weekend and Raul has provided us with the opening ceremony march.