Countdown to “the event of the summer”

Osvog Vikings

Originally uploaded by guffman32.
Well, folks the Jason – Emily union is right around the proverbial corner so I figured we would kick off the festivities by discussing what hijinx will ensue next week. Here’s my top 10 list of the most shocking predictions for Big Sky. I open the forum for your comments and predictions.

10. In an emergency INXS calls Osvog on Friday to stand in as the lead singer for their Indian reservation whirlwind tour of 2007. Although flattered, he declines thinking of the strain life on the road will put on a new marriage.

9. Dunning actually looks like all his organs are functioning normally.

8. Tooth finally admits that he is Luke and Leiah’s father/Kronan decides to just order a “well” drink

7. Chuch actually does not bitch about something for an entire 23 minutes. (Of couse this will be when he is busy fighting for his life rafting)

6. Jeff aka the scab replacment groomsmen falls off raft and is rescued by a park ranger who claims to have rescued George Bush Jr.. He mentions he thought the President would be in better shape.

5. Kent’s plan of driving from Salt Lake actually turns out to make sense and he fails to break a chair or appliance during his entire stay at the  lodge.

4. Mitch refuses to have lunch with one of Emily’s gorgeous early 20’s cousins instead insisting to go on an all dude hike/drum banging session in the mountains.

3. Bluto not “ryan” makes a guest appearance.

2. Fenimore uses only 2 hair product in his hair instead of the usual 3 not including the leave in conditioner. He also decides to just “clean up the kitchen later.”

1. Wendy decides to “sit this song out”.

9 responses to “Countdown to “the event of the summer”

  1. You are a very funny man

  2. Unless Tooth high kicks Wendy’s front teeth out, #1 ain’t happening. I’ll stake my just-above-the-poverty-line salary on it.

  3. I’ll have you know sir that my personal stylist Rainier will in fact be making the flight from Gstaad. He never discloses any of the products he uses.

    Unfortunatly he refuses to clean; I will try my best to supress “my tendecies”.

  4. Furthermore, I will work to learn the appropriate spelling of tendencies.

  5. I am disheartened by the lack of predictions…

  6. I was already planning on wearing flats to ensure dance-all-night feet, but Kaley does have a point…Does anyone have a mouthguard I could borrow?

  7. Prediction: Chuch gets so anxious about how his best man speech will play that he sits out Thursday afternoon activities so that he can rehearse in the Bucks T-4 Conference Room. As we each stop by individually to try to convince him to join the fun, he tries out different portions of his grand ouevre on us so that by the time Thursday night rolls around, the collective group has heard every carefully planned word, pause, and “off the cuff” aside.

  8. I can see it now: Kranik Gates dressed in a pok-a-dot shirt sipping Kettle & cran yelling “Dude, where’s J-Vog”

  9. Prediction: Mitch’s unexplained, mysterious absence during the reception will explained the following day as he painstakingly recounts losing his virginity to an employee of the Bucks T-4 lodge.

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