Twitter goes back to the future…or past rather

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Outside of Facebook, Twitter is probably the most hyped company in the Web 2.0 arena. It has garnered praise from all the bloggers and geeks of significance. If Twitter was a band it would be The Strokes circa 2003. Twitter is the “it” girl of the Bay Area. Personally, I am still sort of wishy washy on the concept however, I know that the service will be integrated in a variety of ways that someone of my middling intelligence is not possible of comprehending at this time. Nonethesless, no matter which way twitter is eventually leveraged to facilitate some new technique of marketing and advertising; one thing is brazenly clear at this point. Most of the twitter comments are benign, earnest and overtly PC such as “Just got done with bikram…feel Great!”, “Had great meeting with XYZ from ABC company at XXX conference” or “Mmmhh…love Swensen’s bittersweet chocolate milkshakes”. BORING. If it is supposed to represent a newfangled stream of consciousness it would be much more entertaining and compelling if a Lenny Bruce/Sasha Cohen character was to unleash all of their biases, impulsive judgements. At least get some people of ill repute to become early adopters of the service.

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So let’s just put on our imaginary hats and imagine that Doc Brown suddenly landed in his De lorian and whisked us away to several points of time in the past and we magically gave individuals the ability and wifi access to “Twitter” for 24 hours. I know it does not make any sense McFly but just go with it…

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Gold Rush Twitter – from the perspective of a Grizzled prospector

  • Went panning this morning
  • Damn socks are wet…
  • Got a new pickaxe and shovel…traded with a Chinaman
  • Visited brothel….cheap whiskey and easy women….my kind of establishment
  • Beard almost a foot in length…
  • Suspenders getting a little loose
  • Back at brothel again, they have one of those newfangled pianos that plays itself
  • Got me a new six shooter….that Injun’s been eyeing my mule
  • Panning again..if I find me some gold, going to buy a nice house on the prarie and make an honest women of Doreen.

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Medieval Times Twitter – from the perspective of a common serf

  • Just watched third beheading this week in the town square, I heard the executioner is having an affair with the blacksmith’s daughter
  • The stench is really beginning to get to me in the village, which reminds me I have to throw the bucket of my feces out tonight
  • Heard the plague is spreading…maybe my insufferable wife will catch it
  • Supposedly there’s some charlatan named Merlin who can levitate and dates only the finest ladies in court. Has some shtick called “Street Magic”
  • Those knight are so overrated…slaying dragon’s my arse, they’re overpaid egomaniacs with prettier hair than most maidens
  • Sherrif’s coming by to pay taxes, which somebody would rob him like he does me….
  • Thinking of opening a Medieval Times themed restaurant….you know…struggling actors, bad wigs and miller lite.

July 27th Twitter – from the perspective of Mark Chu Cheong

  • Moron…don’t post that Twitter piece…not funny in the slightest..worse idea than Evan Almighty and the new Robin Williams as a priest debacle
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6 responses to “Twitter goes back to the future…or past rather

  1. the sad thing is if anyone actually did have a busy life they wouldnt be twittering. Its like, you only twitter when you want to seem like you have a busy or interesting life.

    “…doing something cool that I hope youre sitting at your computer, in underwear, eating food off a dirty floor, wishing you were doing”

    Man, screw twitter.

  2. I don’t know much about Twitter (and I dare say I don’t want to), but man Medieval Times looks so cool.

  3. Mark Chu Cheong

    Those knight are not to be toyed with.

  4. chuch’s wordpress picture makes him look super cheeseball

  5. It seems to me that the same people who twitter would also be avid Sims players.

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