The brilliant absurdity of Kells

Love him, hate him or prosecute him…you can’t escape R.Kelly. He’s playin’ ball and eating McDonald’s at 3 am… he’s trapped in the closet…and of course he’s always entering or leaving the club. Here are some reasons that Kells is so compelling and dare I say genius?

These are in no particular order:

  • Whenever I am in a bad mood, I can listen to “Happy People” or “Step in the name of love” and instantaneously I have a Cheshire cat like grin. I’m still convinced these two masterpieces are actually the same song. Also the outfit Kelly has on in Happy People is simply magnificent. Go out test my theory, play these songs and let the gliding ensue.
  • (Contributed by Panda) Despite the fact he peed on a minor, i find his songs sneaky catchy and by sneaky, i mean irresistible
  • Outside of Ryan Adams nobody is as prolific as Kelly. He seemingly has a new album released every 2 months and has guest appearances all over the map. All squeezed in between an ongoing sexual misconduct investigation that appears to be taking place over 18 states, 28 counties, and 42 cities. I heard Kells mixed his last album in an appellate court
  • I think he might be 57 years old at minimum and his corn rows are approaching Jerry Rice status.
  • He manages to mention a nightclub in every possible song no matter if it a club anthem or the requisite Jesus song.
  • His performance of “Trapped in the closet” at the MTV awards will never be surpassed on the unintentional comedy scale.
  • This mashup of his latest jam “I’m a Flirt with my second favorite indie canadian band, Broken Social Scene”

Please feel free to add on your comments on why you think R.Kelly is/is not a legend.

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2 responses to “The brilliant absurdity of Kells

  1. As Kelly so eloquently mused: “Girl, I like the crotch on you.”

  2. Mark Chu Cheong

    Truer words were never spoken…

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